“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss
I always applied this quote to happy things ending like vacations, relationships, different phases of life. But recently my view of that quote changed because of one man who one day stopped talking to me. We had been dating for about 10 months and he just disappeared without warning. Everything had seemed fine and then it wasn’t. It doesn’t really matter why it happened (which I still don’t know), all that matters is that it did. I went through feelings of guilt and shame and insecurity when it happened. I questioned myself and who I am and what is wrong with me. I did this for about a month. I was really miserable and then something changed.
One day I decided that I didn’t want to be that person anymore and started making changes to my life and the most extraordinary things started happening. I started this blog because I missed writing. I joined choir at church because I missed singing. I started eating healthier and exercising because I was drowning in a sea of self-pity and needed an escape other than food. I have become a person that I am proud of and someone who is true to herself. I have stopped apologizing for who I am and instead am bravely showing myself to the world.
I wrote a book a few years ago and I have finally started showing it to people – whether I actually do anything with it is a different story. But I still wrote a book! It’s a piece of my heart and soul put into words just like this blog. I plan to write another book (but that is another story). None of this would have happened if that man hadn’t quit talking to me. I wouldn’t be where I am today, doing what I am doing, if my heart hadn’t been broken.
How do I know this? In that relationship, I was complacent to just exist and not to grow or to reach for my dreams. I was so focused on “us” that I never looked at me. I don’t think that would have changed while we were together. Once I was me instead of an us, I saw my life differently and made changes. I followed my heart and my dreams and no one has laughed at them. My friends and family have supported and cheered me on in my quest to find what makes me happy.
I look back at the break up and smile because it changed my life. There are no more tears for what might have been if we were still together or tears for what I lost. I smile because it happened and now my dreams are coming true. Because it happened my world has completely changed.